«The Diary 2019 - 2023» is a collection of memories and impressions from the last 4 years.
It consists of art, music, AI-replicated memories, generative impressions, photo documentation, and true stories.
Vladivostok is a magical city. Especially its nature. The city is located on three islands connected by massive bridges. The most unique thing about Vladivostok is the season of fog. It started in the early spring and carry's on for 4 months. During this time you can see every type of fog there is. They are massive, soothing, beautiful, and constantly moving. The feeling of fog moving rapidly toward you is something I never experienced before or after. It is a feeling of awe, and peace I try to carry with me.
When I was a child my favorite cartoon was Aladdin.
Looking back, I am surprised at how dark and grim this show is.
There is a palace where everything is beautiful.
But people live in slums and darkness and evil are everywhere.
Vladivostok somehow reminded me of this. And life in Russia in general.
I never felt safe there. How can you feel safe, when the police are created not to help you, but to defend kings and people with power?
How can you feel safe, when you know, there is no just law?
This is a message to all kings who live in their high castles and bunkers in isolation and don't care about people but only for their power.
Your time will come.
This track is dedicated to going back home. To the apartment, my mom and I grew up in. The feeling of safety. The birthplace.
I left it to study in the MA program for 2 years, and then again after the war in Ukraine started.
It doesn’t feel safe anymore. But I always wanted to leave my town. So I am in a weird way grateful for this push. Will I find a home again? And what home means? These are open questions.
In this composition, I used samples of an orcas wales recorded in an oceanarium in Vladivostok. There are a lot of rumors about how these magnificent creatures are treated there.
These recordings were given to me by a scientist who later died in Saint Petersburg under mysterious circumstances. He was smart, young, and eccentric and worked on developing a cure for cancer. He was a great dancer and a very kind person.
This composition is dedicated to him and also to all the animals who are treated cruelly.
This was the day of protests against Alexey Navalny's imprisonment. He just gets back to Russia and gets arrested immediately. It was my first protest.
At the time I just started to understand how totalism arises and I felt my responsibility to make everything I could to stop it.
It was an extremly cold day in Vladivostok. When I came to the square I saw a huge crowd of people walking down the road. People were cheering and elated to get together. Students, elderly people, and all in between were walking and having a conversation. But it all stopped pretty quickly. Police slice the crown in half with paddy wagons. A huge amount of people in black armor get into the line. The tension was in the air. The crowd cheered "You are with us!" After 10 or 15 minutes clubs get in the air and police ran into the crowd. I was just one step away from a policeman. I get lucky. But many weren't.
I used sound samples from this event in this composition, as well as video footage from this day. I stopped filming just before the violence started.
On November 18 of 2020, Vladivostok was hit by a Blizzard. I was studying that day. I had the plan to record a video podcast with my tutor at the time, Dmitry Morozov (vtol). The studio was set up and people were waiting for us. The producer called and said there is no electricity, and we can't make it today. So I decided to go home. The weather was brutal. The road usually takes me 10 minutes take almost half an hour. I was constantly falling. I was wet, cold, and bruised from falling on the ice. The wind was insane.
When I was home, I was shaking from adrenaline and was grateful I survived. The next morning I woke up from crackling noises. I open up the shades and I saw massive branches fall from the trees one by one. The ice on the branches was too heavy. Every piece of grass becomes an ice obelisk. As terrifying the experience was, as beautiful as it looks after it was over.
I grew up in Kaliningrad, ex Konigsberg. It was a german city near the sea, which was taken by the Russians after WW2.
It is a city where past and present collide. Where Europe and Russia clash. You can see it everywhere. German architecture is close to the soviet style Xruschevkas and with modern malls and cafes.
As in every resort city, near the sea, people are relaxed there. They are not in a rush. They like to enjoy themselves and nature. They are quite hedonistic. It become a part of my nature too.
Something I need to deal with it and balance my ambition and pleasure-seeking tendencies that I have. It is not an easy task. I had many friends there, and I miss them. Now, most of them are spread around the globe. I wish I can see them one day, and walk together by the Baltic sea.
Love / War
Two weeks before the war in Ukraine started I meet a girl. And fall in love. We started dating. 23 February, she called me in tears. She was afraid and asked me if she should leave the county. She was an ex-activist and very politically active. I said she should.
I didn’t have resources at the time so I didn't follow her. She left, and our relationship converted into a long distant one for almost 6 months.
Later I come to Tbilisi, the place she went. And we broke up in the first week of my staying there. It wasn't the right feet for both of us. It was hard. I loved her. But hey, this is life, and I am grateful because it started a new chapter of my life. Sometimes, but not always, dark times can lead to something beautiful.